TulipsI put tulips under all the pillows, and then I set fire to the house.This was a lot easier said than done, to be honest. I mean, do you know how many pillows are in the average old lady's house? Here's a clue: a fucking ton, that's how many. Old ladies have nothing to do but sit around and pet their cats and take their pills and crochet shit day in and day out. I mean, old men can go to swingers' bars and post disturbing photos of themselves on the internet, but old ladies? They can make pillows, and that's all they got. Pillows, Thomas Kinkaide pictures, and Precious Moments figurines.All of which were currently ablaze. Well, maybe not the figurines. Does clay burn? No one's ever told me whether clay burns or not. Maybe those saccharine little pieces of shit are still intact, even as we speak.As I walked from the house I heard the death scream of hundr
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